I have learned that the people who care the most about the children are the one's who have little to no voice: the foster parents. If the judges, magistrates and lawyers brought home a foster child for 6 months and tried to parent them they would have eyes that see. I wonder how things would change if the judges, lawyers, magistrates and even social workers, had to take the kids home they make decisions about. I wonder how they might conduct themselves if their work didn't end with the fall of the gavel or that passing of 5:00.
When was the last time a judge had to force themselves to love and unlovely child that is difficult, unruly, disobedient, angry, filled with rage, confused, sad and just plain unlovable? Go ahead and judge me . . .go ahead and think that no child is unlovable or unlovely. Go ahead and call me names. Think what you want, but let me ask you this: when was the last time you loved a child, or adult, that you did not like at all or love at all? When? You simply avoid that child (or person) and move on with your life. But what if that person is in your home, 24 hours a day 7 days a week? We naively thought that love would be enough and that these foster children would sing our praises for rescuing them from a terrible home life. It is not like that. See, you may look at the drug addicted parent who abused the child and think they are just a worthless scumbag. Your attitude and actions towards that parent will be cold, disingenuous, judgmental and condescending. But what you fail to realize is that the foster child loves their drug addicted, abusive mom or dad. Did it ever occur to you that these children love their messed up parents just like you and I love our "normal" parents. Did you ever stop and think that a foster child will always have some love for mom or dad? Some longing for them? What child doesn't want to be with mom AND dad? In many ways these children are just like you and I.