There is a fairly large gap of time between the initial discussion about adoption and where we are now. The gap is mostly me wrestling with my selfish, lazy attitude and hashing this out with my wife while getting counsel from friends. As is true most of the time I am slow to catch on to what the Spirit is doing and since I am WAY TOO introspective I often find myself trying to find myself, instead of embracing the new creation I am (2 Corinthians 5:17).
My wife was discouraged, (during the gap of time) I think angry and generally sad about my attitude and double talk. I had said some things simply because I love her and want to please her, things that were not entirely true at the time. When a leader does and says things simply to please his followers he is no longer leading, rather he is protecting his position (because of pride) and eventually it will lead to resentment or a coup d'état. Thankfully my wife is honest and blunt with me and we were able to move on. My wife wants to be lead by a man, and so do most women, yes even the bra-burning, obnoxious, feminazis that don't need no man I am women here me ROAR! YES those women want lead too, but many men don't lead, or men in their (the women's) past have abused their leadership role for personal gratification, so many women think they need a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Anyway, instead of moving on with adoption classes and paper work my wife was patient with me and never once did she try to manipulate me, she just prayed that the Spirit of the Sovereign God would work in my heart. Remember the homeschool story, it was the same thing, she prayed, God worked, I changed, life got better. My wife could have manipulated me in to homeschooling or adoption, but she knew it was not wise and would severely strain our marriage and family. Women take a lesson from her. What Connie did not know was that I was busy researching and reading about adoption in our state. I had even called and left a message with the Family Services folks, but they did not call back. I was thinking, "Maybe they will never call back and that will be God's way of shutting the door." However, I didn't leave it at that, I called back and talked to the right person and asked many questions. Then one day I told my wife what I had been doing, we discussed the issues and she was surprised how much I knew about the process because she thought I was just avoiding the topic, hoping it would go way. After some revealing discussions my wife was able to summarize my problem and it was typical man.
What a group of folks we have here, I am pretty sure some of them were in a Weird Al Yankovic video or on Jerry Springer, and I think I saw one of them one the news describing the alien spaceship that landed in their yard . . . again. WOOOOOO, MY WORD, we were the only normal folks there, or so we thought. Here was the make up of our class:
Couple 1: co-habitating lesbians with no children
Couple 2: Us co-habitating bff's with 5 or 6 or 7 children. (oh and we are married)
Couple 3: Obnoxious biker dude and soft hearted wife (they showed up once and never returned)
Couple 4: Older black couple
Couple 5: Middle aged, white couple with no children
Couple 6: Late 30's white couple with no children
Single 1: Middle aged, divorced black lady, children older and moved out
Single 2: 23 year old, on welfare, self proclaimed "mechanic chick" reminded me of Darlene from "Rosanne"
Teacher: Late 60's, Italian women, no kids, never married, she was sort of a toned down Joan rivers infused with a touch of Tina Fey tempered with Snow White. 40 plus years as a social worker. I wish you could meet her.
The first night of the class we saw a video about a boy in the system in Canada in the late 70's. Our teacher gave us a warning that we will see a teenager who killed himself by hanging from a tree. WOW, so that is how this starts, a picture of dead teenager hanging by a rope! I did not know when that image would show up, so I put my chin in my chest, and shut my eyes. I did not want to see this, I did not want to have that grotesque image in my mind. However I caught just a small glimpse, it was tough, it is now in there. Long story short, the video was about how bad the child welfare system was in Canada and how it took the suicide of Richard to change things and that is precisely why the foster parents took the picture: to make a change! They sent the photo to the newspaper and certain public officials. It worked, it worked very well and since then thousands of orphaned children have been positively effected and given proper care in Canada.
I ask you, dear friend, can any faith other than Christianity answer that question in its fullest sense? As we see so many atrocities we wonder, "Where is God?" And the answer comes: He is right in the middle—at the receiving end of evil, hanging on the gallows. The Cross invades us as the only reasonable point of definition for a wounded world. God is on the gallows Himself so that we might come near. (Excerpted from: RZIM)
That was the first class stay tuned for more . . .