Saturday, February 25, 2012

Limits

I know you are wondering how can I blog with all this chaos, and it is chaotic, but right now all but our oldest is in bed.  He is folding laundry, what a good boy! Well I write to calm myself down, collect my thoughts and step back and look at what my current life situation is.  There is something almost mystical about words, I put these words down and then read them, and often I am amazed at what is going on.  It is like I can step out of my life and look in, so this blog is mainly for me to cope, plan and strategize.  In fact you look way back to my first or second post I told you that as stress increased posts would as well and true to my word they are.

Right now we are still totally lost and frazzled! Thank God our dear daughter came in from a snow-less Clevland (and we has snow, hah imagine that!) to help us get at least a few toes on the ground.  We are blessed to have her, she is great, we love her (even if she stayed home, we still love her).  

Three concerns:

1.  Terry visits, we planned on visiting 4 times per week, when I visit it puts me home at about 6:30.
2.  Occupying the two children we just got.
3.  School, namely home schooling, how do we do it with all this?

The priority is school, so we can't just put school aside because we have 2 small children to tend to.  The problem here is occupying them, Connie cannot teach and occupy these 2.  It can't be done and the fact that we have no age appropriate toys and a non-child proofed house doesn't help. Bur even with all of that could he still effectively teach three children?

The visits to Terry simply cannot be 4 times per week, I cannot leave my wife to do EVERYTHING, 4 days per week.  If I did that I believe we would have same serious family conflict develop, she is not super women, nor does she think she is.  If come rolling in 3 hours later than normal, that is 3 extra hours she is totally engaged, and don't forget the barn and animals.

We made a commitment to Terry and we could have made 4 visits per week because it is temporary, but no way I can do that now.  So have I let him down? Then you add in the schooling and it gets a bit more difficult.  Now to really tip the scales of sanity we have visitation for the parents of the children, and of course right now it would be a visit for each parent; separately, now add in visits with Terry's parents.  

So you are curious as why we missed all of this; the Terry visits, the schooling, the parental visits, occupying 2 small children and running a small farm.. How could we miss all of that?  Well simply put we got the call and I talked with the on call social worker and she was the one who was frantic, and told me that she needed to know in less than 20 minutes what we would do.  Mind you Connie is in front of me driving, so we are not talking about all this, and with the 20 minute timeline I was pressed.  Add to that this statement "well if you don't take them I don't know where they will go. You are the only people on the list with that age."  In hindsight I should have said what I was thinking, which was "You are going to have to wait, my wife and I need to discuss this and pray about it."  I didn't because I felt trapped, like I really had not choice, but now I know better.  If we had talked we would have thought about Terry and the visits, the lack of clothing, the lack of toys, the lack of child proofing and all that.  In fact we both said to each other today that we both felt like we should have discussed the placement and prayed about, we have repented.  So, what I was thinking?  I wasn't and to be honest I am not at all happy with they way that social worker handled the call.  Maybe this is is the way it goes and since we are new we got a wake up call.  

Well I need to end this to tend to the barn and furnace, for now since we will be out of wood tomorrow.  By the way I cut one truck load REALLY fast today, but I can't be outside cutting wood while Connie is inside, so oil heat it is.  Anyway we need prayer and bodies.  

If any of you are available for 2-3 hours any day, and feel led to serve God by serving us then please let us know.  If you are free tomorrow to help put clothes away, child proof and clean the bathrooms then let us know.  If you want to bring a meal, or make one and freeze it then let us know.  We know this is temporary and an extenuating circumstance so please don't think that we will be like this with every placement.  We just got totally nailed all of a sudden.  Oh yeah, I was at the ER today because the one child has two ear infections, that was a fun trip!  So what we need is people, bodies, hands that can help. One man from our church is helping us on Monday and that is just great!

If anyone wants to help out the best days would be Tuesdays and Thursdays as that is when I am visiting Terry.  Well it is too late so, stay tuned.

1 comment:

Keep it classy . . .